Thoughts on the perception of handmade presents

I’ve received handmade gifts before (an ex boyfriend’s mom knitted me a scarf and sewed me a quilted tote/purse for past Chrismases), and this year I made Grainline/Fringe Stowe tote bags for everyone I could on my list. Buying a tote bag for everyone would not have felt right, because the whole thing that makes it a special gift is the fact that I made it, with the recipient in mind. I haven’t given out the presents yet, so I’m crossing my fingers I won’t have to experience the handmade present perception mismatch!

I usually make one or two gifts every year. This year I made my stepdaughter a faux shearling paneled shawl collared coat. She’d better like it, haha!

I think if you’re a maker yourself you truly appreciate a handmade gift as you understand the time/effort/money and general thoughtfulness that has gone into it but maybe none crafty types just dont always get it! I think its the same argument for when people try to sell handmade goods- people rarely appreciate the true cost in time/materials involved and dont understand why they’re more expensive than mass produced goods. I don’t think children have a concept of what something costs necessarily though so will appreciate a handmade doll just as much a Barbie!

My aunts are all fiber artists who make the most amazing things. As a child I hated having homemade clothes and gifts, but now as an adult I absolutely adore and cherish the gifts my family make for me. I think having an appreciation for the craft and skill it takes makes a huge difference.

Truth is that I was scared to make gifts for a long time because of this exact reaction, but I’ve noticed that as my skills advance people don’t see the difference between my me-made stuff and store bought stuff anymore. (Coming from a non-crafty person that’s a compliment). I think it’s mostly the fact that they don’t want it to look home made. I do sew for some people but only for people who know that I sew and who’ve expressed their liking of my stuff before.

Yes, this has happened to me. I made my new sil a quilt for Christmas one year. Honestly I poured my heat and soul into it, and nearly all of my time too!!! She didn’t even take it out of the wrapping paper!! Opened a corner, oh its a quilt, then left it on the couch mostly wrapped. I’m sorry to say, but that has changed me BIG time.
Now I don’t sew for others, I only do it when I really want to. Mostly I just buy them things

I also rarely make gifts because I’m afraid of the response, but I try to look at it from the other perspective too. I’ve gotten gifts that really aren’t my style and I never wear them. Just because I spend the time to make something for someone, doesn’t mean they’re obligated to like it! I really have to know someone well to know what their response to the gift is probably going to be before I put the time in to make it.

There are definitely some people who don’t appreciate handmade gifts. That probably says quite a lot about them actually. Superficial, materialistic? I have been crazily sewing presents for my family for a while now, but only because I know they’ll appreciate them. All I can say is that your girls’ patterns have had a massive workout in my sewing room. I’m not sure what I would have done without them. You’re a star!

Homemade gifts are tricky business! I usually get a good response, but I always have the worry in the back of my mind that people might be sick of my sewing/baking/etc. This year I made batches of gift tags for all my church ladies to use for their holiday wrapping and gave them out earlier in December. I already got one back on a jar of homemade caramel sauce, so I guess that’s a win. ;)

I find I like handmade gifts far more when they suit me. My colors, nice fabrics. It’s hard to love the scratchy poly yarn afghan even knowing how many hours went into it.

I do handmade teacher gifts, but only things I want to experiment with(zip pouches on year) or something easy to quickly mass produce (tissue pack covers).

For family I have a few that never say thank you, no matter what, do they get books from Amazon. On the otherwise my mum and I will make suggestions for what to make each other and we both often make for the kids, often semi on request.

I am giving homemade gifts a go again this year. The Stanley tree by Sewaholic got me going – great for in-laws and my sister. I also am making pillowcases for my daughter’s significant others. Both my daughters think they will love them. (Dr. Who theme etc..) I think that quick makes at this time of year is the approach I need to take, otherwise who needs the added pressure?

What a great discussion you’ve started Meg. I think you’ve really hit the nail on the head regarding perception. I would like to think that more and more people appreciate handmade, well at least in my world. I would always prefer to give something I have made rather than select something that will go to landfill. If I am unsure I opt for food or an experience instead.

Interestingly I was asked to make a gift this year as part of a Kris Kringle, where the value was $50pp. My extremely wealthy recipient asked me to make her something copied off something else. She bought the fabric, and dropped it off. All was fine until I found a crappy little top in the bottom of the bag with a broken zip and a note to see if I could ‘do something about it’. I’d specifically told her how time poor I was in the lead up to Christmas and I was so angry that she thought in addition to working full time I would make her item and repair a garment that she could have paid someone to do. It took me about 8 hours to make her item, on the one weekend this month I wasn’t working (making my hourly rate approximately $6.50/hr). I haven’t repaired the top and I won’t. I was pretty resentful about the whole thing and despite doing my best on her item I didn’t feel gracious.

In contrast I also made my best friend a dress for Christmas, as she’s just had her first baby and I thought it would be fab for feeding. It looks amazing on her and she was delighted, as was I. And the first thing she said to me was how on earth did I find the time! As you say I think a lot of people don’t realise the time and labour that goes into a handmade item. Only the special ones get my time voluntarily!

One Christmas I made gifts for every one in the family, scarfs, woodbox with pictures, cross-stitch, hats.. my family really loved it, my family in law not so much, they like it but I could not feel that they loved it.. I made once a huge nappy quad for a friend that just gave birth, she didn’t even wait 1 minute before removing all of its parts… then she asked if we took a picture…
Some pleople really appreciate handmade gifts, others they don’t at all. It’s not just the time it takes to make them, also the time it takes to find all of the material you need, the time spent finding the best idea, thinking how to make it. Evenmore, it’s not just time, it is also money, sometimes it is cheaper to buy a gift than to make it…
After some experiences I only make gifts when I’m 100% sure they will love it, appreciate it and “use it”.
It is not just my time, but also the time I’m not spending with my kids to make the gift.

I have had my share of unenthusiastic thank yous for my home made gifts, but one time;

I usually make a throw sized quilt for my nieces and nephews when they graduate college in their school’s colors. They all like them, but I don’t expect them to go overboard with compliments especially the boys. Well a couple of years ago, one nephew was enjoying his graduation party, but my husband dragged him over to open the gift bag we brought with his quilt (I was fine with him probably opening his gifts later in private, but my husband picked out the pattern for this one, so he was kind of proud of it too). So my nephew was all, “Oh thanks, you made this? It’s nice.” Very polite, right? Then he (I thought) went back to the other room with his friends. Nope, pretty soon he had his girl friend back to show it off to her. They are married now, and I just know that future baby quilts will be appreciated the same way.

I’ve learned to kind of gauge the personalities/wants/styles of the family and close friends that are on my list. And sometimes I just straight up ask – would you like if I made one of these for you for ___ (christmas, birthday, etc.) and usually the answer is enthusiastic :) So I’ve learned if I’m wondering, just to ask. My best friend made me a tree skirt last Christmas and it is so precious to me! This year I’m making my nephew a tee-pee and my niece some leather moccasins. I usually try to pair with a small gift from their wishlist as well if I can keep it all within budget. Can’t lose that way!

Truth is, it’s way less pressure to shop and give them a gift receipt :P so I choose carefully.

I made an heirloom baby day gown for my husband’s colleague after she asked me/demanded that I make her one. It was a size newborn. She sent me a thank you six months after the baby was born saying that they were looking forward to putting it on the baby someday. I guess it was not up to snuff (and I am actually pretty good at this stuff). I was so hurt and felt so betrayed that I am very careful who I make gifts for now. That said, the feeling of making a gift for someone who understands that you are giving love as well as the gift is unbeatable. Nothing store bought can compete.

I dont.make gifts either. I feel it’d a total waste of my time and money. No one but my children appreciate it and it’s not cheap and it takes a lot of time! That being said I did make project bags for my knitting buddies and that went over quite well. I, myself love handmade gifts. I know what went into it

I worked as a cashier at a major clothing and home furnishings chain. I saw womens jackets where the welt pockets were improperly installed. It was common for drape sets to have panels of unequal length. The womens clothing was uniformly tasteless and made from thin polyester. The fabric colors were bland. In contrast, my ASG members have consistently made very handsome garments.
The dresses from Ross Dress and Old Navy are so ugly they would make children cry and dogs bark. I don’t know why handmade is held in such low esteem when there is so much commercial crap.

Great discussion! I like making handmade gifts, but like many people, I’ve gotten more selective. I made something like three baby gifts in a row that I thought were super cute and were tailored towards the recipients’ likes (a little sweater vest in the colors of their favorite basketball team, etc), without getting even an acknowledgement of receipt! So now I make things for the people that really care about me, and know that even then, I might not quite have their styles right and that they might not love the gifts. I try to remember that I don’t love every gift I get, but it’s the thought that counts and the cheerful heart of the giver, right?

I’m making one right now.. but i also have the same feelings as u.. i made these with effort.. spend a lot of time.. sacrificing my sleep and gaming time.. sometimes i just wonder.. do they really like it? Do they think I’m cheap bcs i don’t buy them expensive presents and made them instead? Am i just filling their houses with unwanted items? I’ve never been given handmade present before so idk how they feel.. but if i did get one i would definitely treasure it.. I’m searching for opinions on handmade presents bcs in case most people don’t like it.. then maybe i should start saving to buy presents instead :/

It depends on the person and the situation, but often I perceive handmade gifts as more about the giver than about the recipient. With certain exceptions, I feel like the giver is just setting up an opportunity to be praised for their talent. Sometimes I feel like the giver is shoehorning their talent into a gifting situation where the recipient would be far happier with something altogether different. Gifting should be about the recipient.