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On Feeling Important

Lately I feel like i hear so much from my mommy friends that they feel they should be doing something more important. Most of the time I don’t actually talk about my business outside of my family and close friends because it so often ends with someone telling me that they should be doing something like that too, instead of “just looking after their kids”. The number of times I’ve heard another woman talk herself down after that, and belittle the very important work she does – well, it just breaks my heart. Losing self worth is a tragedy, and it’s something I know I’ve fought against a lot.

I think it’s common for moms to sometimes feel a little unimportant. Especially when you’re home full time, home alone with your kids all day, it can feel like no-one appreciates or understands how hard the job is, how much work is involved. And often my little ones themselves, seem to be the ones who appreciate me the least.

There have been times I’ve felt like the world looks down on my choice to stay home. I feel I immediately lose respect when I tell someone I stay home with my kids. I feel pressure to define myself in a way other than “just being a mom”. I know it isn’t fair, and it isn’t right, but I guess that’s just the world we live in.

But I learnt a valuable lesson when I came home from Texas.

As I started walking up the path to our front door, Chris opened it and Bunny and Buddy literally threw themselves at me. I was standing in our doorway bowled over with them both on top of me clinging their little arms around my neck. This trip was the first time I’d ever been away since they were born. Bunny kept telling me how much she loved me and that she was sad without me, and Buddy (who hardly ever deigns to kiss anyone) planted four kisses on me in about 2 seconds. For the rest of the night they followed me around like little puppies, watching everything i did, and just wanting to be near me.

And in that moment, I remembered how important I was. As much as I love my business, and I love how much it has grown, and no matter how excited I get about where it’s going, and about the future – it’s important to remember it doesn’t define me. They do. These two little bundles of joy who changed my life forever make me more important than anything ever can.

They are my Magnum Opus.

About Author

Meg is the Founder and Creative Director of Megan Nielsen Patterns, and is constantly dreaming up ideas for new sewing patterns and ways to make your sewing journey more enjoyable! She gets really excited about design details and is always trying to add way too many variations to our patterns.

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kelli
10 years ago

thanks for this post. really needed to hear this today. it is so easy to feel like i am not important enough, hip enough, young enough. but i have also had small moments which remind me of what really matters and what really lasts.

Portia
10 years ago

Sheesh Megan. This really hit a chord with me today. To the point I felt a bit choked up. Parenting has seemed extra hard recently. Just another phase my little man is going through and I’m having to dig deep in order to remain calm and positive in my efforts to guide him out of it. (not always succeding, but mostly!!) Then today when I picked him up from pre school some comments were made about him being a “handful” that day. It just made my heart sink. It’s so easy to lose that belief in yourself that you’re a worthwhile parent. Sometimes parenting is hard. Sometimes it’s utterly joyful. But nothing worthwhile was ever easy, and as you say, it’s the most important career we’ll ever have.
Thanks for a well timed reminder! (gorgeous pic btw!)
Px

WorthyStyle
10 years ago

Aww this is so sweet. They love you so much!

Rachael Reese
Rachael Reese
10 years ago

thank you so much for this!!!! i needed every word. i am so glad i am not alone with my feelings. thank you thank you

Kelli B
Kelli B
10 years ago

Thank you so much for posting this – it has really hit home with me. I can identify with every bit – low self worth, belittling myself, and feeling like my kids don’t appreciate it either. It’s such a relief to know I’m not alone in this, and that what I do IS important, and so am I.

Again, many thanks for reminding us that we do really matter!

Kass
Kass
10 years ago

Megan,
I’m an Australian 26-week pregnant stay-at-home Mum of a beautiful 18 month old girl who, controversially as it turns out in our modern world, “gave up” being a solicitor at the age of 32! The “career change” or “career break”, whichever it may be, is rarely understood by even my closest family and friends, let alone wider society. Can’t tell you how much it means to hear another Mum speak of the incredible value of committing whole-heartedly to the most important job anyone could ever hold – parenthood. I tinker with my sewing (basilsbritches@etsy.com) when I can, would love for it to take on a bigger role in the futre, but your post reminds me that there is no pressure to do that while my precious little girl (and one on the way) are little. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Betsy
10 years ago

YES! I was just talking with a friend about this. Mothering is the single most important thing someone can do (hello? the future is literally being shaped by us!). Thanks for sharing your heart on the matter. Beautiful.

Heather
Heather
10 years ago

Thanks! Lovely. It’s hard to remember and easy to feel alone! My older daughter is 15 and I’m still reminding myself. :)