Sometimes i take myself way too seriously when I’m sewing – little details below my self imposed minimum standard make me very upset. I will redo an entire garment to fix them. I have many unblogged makes because i deemed them “unworthy” by some invisible standard. The funny thing is, that if i ever mention sewing flaws to someone who doesn’t sew, they look at me with a confused quizzical expression.
Do you want to know why? Because they never noticed. GASP.
That somehow doesn’t stop me from pointing out every thing wrong with any garment i’ve made to anyone i happen to bump into. Oh you didn’t ask about my raw hem? Well i’m going to tell you anyway! At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter THAT much does it? It makes me laugh at myself, and the little list of things we all care so passionately about when we are sewing. Maybe it’s good to remember once in a while that it’s not the end of the world if it isn’t all perfect. So here are my top 5 things that sewers (cough *I*) care desperately about, and I’m pretty sure no-one else does. wink wink.
1 // Beautiful insides
Basically unless your garment is as gorgeous on the inside as the outside you might as well cry yourself to sleep. If you’re going to line something, make sure that lining is a feature in itself. Unicorn print or tiny pug puppies are an absolute must. Extra points for french seams and bound finishes. Zig zagging or using an overlocker will probably make you feel like a loser. Avoid anything that meets requirements, always go above and beyond what is necessary. Oh your flat felled seam is actually a FAUX flat felled seam?! Tisk tisk, you better admit that to everyone or the guilt will eat you up.
2 // Perfect fit
Oh the ever illusive perfect fit! We all want it! We will make 50 muslins and tweak everything! It doesn’t matter that ready to wear garments never fit perfectly – i’m making it by hand, so i better kill myself making it conform perfectly to my body. Or i’ll die. In fact, i think i will overfit it. Yes, that’s a great idea. If it’s a little wrong i won’t wear it. It can hang in my closet forever, that’s where it deserves to be because the bust dart is half an inch too high.
3 // Pattern matching
Hands up if you’ve painstakingly matched a print by hand to make your seams almost invisible. Good on you, it’s just that important. Hours spent fussing about pattern piece placement on fabric to get it all just right are not a waste! You better start again if you don’t get it right the first time. Remaking an entire garment to pattern match the seams isn’t weird at all… it’s TOTALLY normal. Right? If you think you might have made a mistake it is vitally important you get everyone’s opinion in Instagram. Oh did everyone tell you it looks fine and it doesn’t matter? I’m pretty sure they actually meant you should do it again.
4 // High quality materials
Hoard that silk baby. Forget self control when it comes to Liberty of London. The better your fabric quality the better a sewer you are! I’m SURE everyone will notice that your blouse is 100% imported Japanese cotton no less… Make sure it’s a rare print by a trending textile designer. If no-one else can find that fabric you’re even cooler! Of course you can’t use the polyester lining, that will ruin your entire garment. Oh, you DID use a low quality fabric. I’m sorry. You better mention it every time you blog about that garment. Everyone has a right to know.
5 // Couture techniques
Lets put some welt pockets in just for the heck of it. A simple machine hem won’t do – hand rolled hems on everything please. Actually no, hand sew everything you can find an excuse to hand sew – we are not animals after all. Yes that includes hand picking zips. Bound buttons are a must in any coat… or why did you even bother making a coat? Don’t tell me you didn’t put a sleeve head in… i can’t even look at you right now. I’m not sure how anyone can press anything without 5 different kinds of tailors hams. Oh and a clapper. Extra points for unnecssary boning and horsehair braid.
The end. What’s your score 5/5? It’s an awesomeness competition after all. Kidding.
I’d like to say i’m not going to take myself too seriously from now on… but i have a pair of shorts that i need to take apart because the exposed zipper is a little wonky and the same colour as my skin and it’s driving me crazy. I’m worried it looks like a butt crack. I’m not joking.
Feel free to add your sewing nuttery in the comments. I need to feel normal again ;)